Picture Supply: Getty / Jamie McCarthy
If you happen to wakened in the present day pondering you would not be studying an article a few $25,000 c*ck ring, you have been mistaken. Although this outlandish intercourse toy could appear to be one thing you’d discover endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow on Goop, it really comes solely from singer and songwriter Frank Ocean’s luxurious model, Homer.
Homer options merchandise like pennants, earring studs, rings, and belt buckles — and sure, c*ck rings. Extra particularly, one which’s 18-karat gold, made with 60 princess-cut diamonds, and retails for a bit of over $25,000.
The model thrust the product into the highlight in an Instagram submit yesterday. The picture features a picture of a really chiseled bare individual sporting what seems to be a gold c*ck ring. (Don’t fret, although, the blur instrument is working time beyond regulation, so you do not see something too specific.) And within the caption, the model signifies that the picture is “Frank ‘PACO’ Ocean,” although it is unclear if it is Ocean’s bundle we’re or if Ocean is the one who took the picture. We love a curiosity hole.
As somebody who’s been working within the sex-toy house for a while now, I’ve a number of crucial questions: Why does a c*ck ring have to be bedazzled with diamonds? Why does a c*ck ring have to be bedazzled with something? And why does a c*ck ring must price the identical quantity as my pupil loans? The solutions are unclear.
However for individuals who are unfamiliar with the world of c*ck rings, let me clarify the absurdity of this.
First off, these toys are designed to be positioned across the base of a penis — much less for aesthetic causes and extra for pleasure functions. A c*ck ring restricts blood move, making it in order that the individual sporting it has a more durable time orgasming.
Some individuals put on them as a result of they do not wish to orgasm too shortly or they take pleasure in edging themselves. Different individuals put on them as a result of they like the marginally painful sensation of being restricted. In any case, you do not want diamonds across the c*ck ring to ensure that the expertise to really feel regal AF.
Let’s additionally think about the logistics right here, as a result of it sounds messy. What if semen in some way lands on this c*ck ring? I’d suppose cum remnants would critically devalue its value and possibly even destroy its shine. Would not that be defeating the aim of investing in a $25,000 c*ck ring? I believe sure.
And picture being on the receiving finish of this factor. I really like some clitoral motion however ideally with fingers or a vibrating toy — not, uh, diamonds. Clearly, this simply looks as if a advertising and marketing ploy for Ocean to point out off his BDE.
In the end, I perceive the aesthetics of intercourse toys are completely a part of the enjoyable. And hell, if you wish to beautify your family with bougie-ass intercourse toys, be my visitor. Even in case you do really wish to put on it — maybe extra as jewellery and fewer as a instrument for higher intercourse — nothing says “my d*ck is worthy” like flexing a $25,000 c*ck ring in your penis. (Homer even sells an identical ring to your finger.)
However in terms of really utilizing and orgasming from this dear intercourse toy, there is no must throw down that kind of money for a c*ck ring that produces the identical sensation as this one at present being offered on Amazon for $9. Belief me, your $25,000 is best spent elsewhere.
If you need my unsolicited recommendation, there are two issues that I do know will give you extra satisfaction than any $25,000 c*ck ring can: remedy and (in case your accomplice has a vagina) studying “She Comes First: The Considering Man’s Information to Pleasuring a Girl” by Ian Kerner. You are welcome upfront.